just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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