Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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