wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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