you guys were way drunker than both of me
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
