marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize