My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize