she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
