i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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