# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
