thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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