sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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