someone get that fucking seahorse.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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