He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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