Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
