so let's talk penis.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
