May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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