New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
