I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
