That's intense
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
did you just send me my own nude
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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