So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
