Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I CAN MOONWALK!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
