When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
