Need sex. Gaining weight.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
