I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is this like a preordered booty call?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My feet surprised me
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