and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
