on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
