There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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