No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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