i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
