So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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