and you said cock pushups were impossible
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
