puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I love you.
Bad choice
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
