The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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