I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
