I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
