You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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