I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
