This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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