After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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