how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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