Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
