you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
