I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
