Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
this is an emotional support booty call
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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