i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
