i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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