Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
