butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I want a musical about memes.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
