im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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