The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
