I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
