Don't make out with my wife yet
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
