Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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