Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize