It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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