I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
