it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize