Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
