you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
