What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
