If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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