Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
