How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
