How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
