id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
