Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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