That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
