just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
