how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
