I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
