we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
