Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
