Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
