You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
